Plug your noses: Days after Donald Trump tooted in court, Republicans have assembled an actual FART squad SuperNayr

Look, everyone farts. It’s a natural passage of gas from the digestive system through the back door and can happen as often as 25 times a day (more if you’re lactose intolerant and have a hard time saying no to Ben and Jerry).

Donald Trump seems to be leaving that benchmark in the dust during his hush money trial, however, as he poots his way through the criminal proceedings. The disgraced former president is facing widespread gossip after reports of a very specific stench spread in the wake of his early days in attendance at his criminal trial, and it seems the GOP is once again jumping on the bandwagon.

The House Freedom Caucus, which exists on the far-right of the political spectrum, formed a team intended to “monitor the House floor,” according to Business Insider, and they chose the most hilariously fitting acronym possible. The newly-revealed far-right unit is dubbed the Floor Action Response Team, or FART, showcasing the GOP’s ability to fall in perfect lockstep behind Trump — no matter how bad it smells back there.

FART’s rise comes at the perfect time, as people everywhere debate how thoroughly Trump cut one loose during court proceedings. Years of swirling speculation point to the businessman’s longstanding incontinence, which has led many to assume that the alleged “fart” actually carried quite a bit more weight. One doesn’t just trip into a nickname like “Diaper Don,” after all.

Regardless of whether or not Trump is embracing the “Dump” nickname in unexpected ways, he has a new reputation for letting loose in public, and the stench is catching fire. It’s already rampant in the GOP — both in and outside the ranks of FART. The team is reportedly currently intended as a counterweight to House Speaker Mike Johnson as the embattled GOP leader’s many opponents work to ensure they have leverage over him. At least that’s how they intend to use their power as the likes of Marjorie Taylor Greene do everything possible to cling to their rapidly deteriorating relevance.

FART has actually been around for a good few years now, but it’s taking on fresh pertinence as the question of whether Trump trumped or full-on dumped in court continues to swirl. It makes for a hilariously on-point accompaniment to continued rumors about the former president’s flatulent tendencies and sums up the modern GOP pretty damn well. The mindless gasbags we call our nation’s leaders are, just like their orange-smeared leader, exactly as significant as a fart in the wind.


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